♥️ 👁 AN EYE FOR AN EYE? Abuse for abuse? I'll pass.
I have always been a forgiving person. Sometimes this has manifested in a way that is self-destructive and damaging.
I will never hate anybody or wish them physical harm - not ANYBODY - but I now see the difference between
🚫👎 DENIAL....minimising your own trauma and excusing the abuse that you have experienced, due to low self worth, shame and guilt ( and a MASSIVE dose of denial)
✅👍 AWARENESS.... understanding the suffering that led to the abuser(s) behaving in a way that hurt you. Yes, even with compassion; while allowing yourself to be angry about it. Being honest with yourself - and others, if you choose - about the horrible things they did.
Everyone’s trauma experiences are different. Many will be vengeful and hate their abusers. And of course, that is valid - and fair.
I choose forgiveness (I’m not suggesting this is righteous or that other ways are wrong (wrongteous 😂?)
It doesn’t mean that I am not enraged or that I don’t want these people to have consequences, of some kind for their abhorrent actions… quite the contrary… but, justice? I am not sure there is such a thing.
And an eye for an eye? Nah. I’ll pass.
I hope these perpetrators feel deeply ashamed, from within. I hope that they choose to right their wrongs. And acknowledge the pain they have caused, making steps to compensate their victims in some small way. An admission of guilt. An apology. Paying back their debt.
Nothing would ever make up for their crimes. But I hope they get the help they need to feel better and stop the chain of abuse.
For me, there is a huge difference between the two types of forgiveness I mention above.
A gaping chasm, that I am repairing by rejecting shame and denial. With self compassion front and centre.
Heal in your own way, at your own pace. Take your power back in whatever way is safe, healing and feels right for you.