This is me, aged 18. 

I got married when one year previously, when I was a child aged 17. The man was 28 and had been grooming me since I was 15. When we met (online) I lied about my age, saying I was 17. I admitted I was only 15 within a week. His response? “The younger the better”… I doubt my revelation came as a surprise.

Later, when we lived together, I found child porn on his computer.

Aged 15, I was poor.

I was vulnerable. My self worth was none existent because of trauma I had already experienced; my self image was warped.

I lived in Mold, in North Wales.

Soon after we first exchanged messages, he bought me a top of the range Nokia phone, with a pink case, covered in hearts. I felt so special. He put lots of credit on the phone so that we could be in constant contact, day and night.

He told me not to tell anyone I had the phone. So, I hid it in a ripped brown envelope that I found discarded by the front door; I presume, the remains of a debt collection notice.

My abuser was an investment banker, from Italy, living in Canary Wharf, in London.

Did this not ring alarm bells?

Why did nobody stop this from happening?

If you know something is wrong, please don’t be a passive bystander. Kick up a fuss. With persistence.

I would like it if this experience could be acknowledged as abuse by those close to me.

I had already been abused by many (MANY) predatory men by the time I encountered this man, making me a prime target.

How could I possibly form self-worth and self preserving good judgment at such a tender age - as a child - if everyone around me was cheering him on?

Please don’t misconstrue this; I’m not blaming anyone.

I too have been passive, in the past, when I should not have been.

I now acknowledge that this

marriage was not a relationship, but 5 yeas of targeted paedophillic abuse.

I was a child bride; my care was signed over to my paedo husband, who then became my legal guardian.

On what planet is this ok? Everything about this is wrong.

Many of the things that happened in the marriage are too mind blowing for me to share right now.

But I will.


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